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Day 16: April 5th, 2010

April 7, 2010

Mondays, fuck, who needs em right? When there’s no football at the ass-end of my workday, they’re nothing really. Tuesday morning is like a one-night stand after a bad break-up: after the torture and pain of Monday you’ll settle for anything…anything will look good, no matter how arboreal her arm hair is.

Where my dog went. Probably.

Tight schedule this day. I was 50 miles from “the office” and had to hustle to get all the “shit” done at work. One of my dogs went on wayward sabbatical, no doubt in search of bacon and chee mountain for something. Maybe she was just gettin’ all Buttafuoco on someone’s leg. I have no way of knowing. No habla ingles.

She made me way late though, and I was forced to angrily bounce from watching the Reds game to standing outside like a schmuck bellowing her name at empty woods while neighbors sleep. Fuckers. She made me late, and I was forced to skip my philosophy class with lobster girl and just work, work, work.

I wonder if she’s good at cave drawings? Like Michelangelo on Quaalude and Beefeater…or just simply talented?

At any rate, while I was pacing the driveway a dime found me. He was snuggling with a cigarette butt in a slice of scummy love. But hey, I’m not one to let a brotha suffer in the Alaskan Spring. He went spelunking in my pocket and remains there now, evolving no doubt.

Today’s Total: $0.10

Running Total: $2.11

Purchase Power: 100 Pills that might prevent Magic Johnson disease, find some Asians and open a nail parlor, or a Chinese battery-torch that probably beams radiation into innocent kids.

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